Online dating is great. It opens up a whole new world and allows you to meet new people that you wouldn’t normally get the chance to know. It closes cultural, geographical and for some, even language barriers, and in this day and age, it’s also very safe thanks to sites that verify its members. However, there is no algorithm that can weed out the cheaters – men or women who are already in relationships looking for some extra fun on the side.
We do not condone cheating, and neither should you. Getting into a relationship (or even starting a casual thing) with a cheater is basically a guarantee that he or she will do the same to you one day, no matter how many times they say “but you are different”. You deserve someone who genuinely wants to be with you, and not treat you like a side piece that will be chucked aside the minute they bore of you.
The thing is, we understand that spotting a cheater is hard, and even more so online! Until you meet them, you have no visual cues to go with, and behind a screen, it’s so easy to be anyone you want to be. It is not an exact science, and you’ll still need to trust your gut instinct, but here are 5 tips to spotting a cheater while dating online.
Tip 1: No profile photos
This is a dead giveaway – the only reason you’d have no profile photo on an online dating site is clearly because they have something to hide or does not want to be recognized. Either way, stay well clear of these profiles. If for some reason, you do end up interacting with such a profile, give them the benefit of the doubt ask for a photo. There is a possibility they are just shy about being recognized online dating, although we wouldn’t count on that being the majority. If they have nothing to hide, then adding a photo should not be a problem.
Tip 2: They are overtly secretive
Sure, we don’t expect anyone to spill their guts and reveal their entire history within the first few days of chatting, and some people are just more reserved than others. But if the person you are chatting with is exceptionally cagey and refuses to divulge even the most basic information about themselves, be wary! For example, refusing to reveal their last name, where they live, what they do for a living are good red flags as it means you won’t be able to look them up.
Tip 3: Scheduling calls at weird hours
So they passed the online screening and now it’s time to take the relationship to the next level: phone calls. However, if that person is only able to take calls at odd hours (like really early in the morning or late at night), then there is a good chance he is a cheater, unless their job demands the odd hours. If that is not the case, try to listen to any background noises. If every call you exchange takes place in an oddly quiet environment, then you can be sure they are likely hiding themselves somewhere to speak to you.
Tip 4: Refusing to go on dates, or avoiding certain places
You guys get along like a house on fire – so why won’t they meet with you in person? Serial cheaters like online banter and may even suggest exchanging explicit photos, but they immediately back off or make lame excuses when you suggest meeting up for a drink or a coffee. This is the same for those who agree to meet, but vehemently avoid certain places. This is likely because they are already frequenting these places and do not want to be recognized by the staff and have them tell their significant other.
Tip 5: Pushing for sex early on in the relationship
If they are pushing for sex even before you’ve met in person, back off because that’s exactly what serial cheaters are after – a new person to sleep with and dump, before moving on to the next victim. It is likely these people joined the online dating world to seek reprieve from a partner they find boring or are no longer attracted to, so their primary goals would tend to be more physical than emotional.